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Nicholas B. A. Heide, M.T.S. (he/him)
P.O. Box 675
La Cygne, KS
66040

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About

A blog on theology, mystery, and paradox. Christ is Risen, and you are loved! Christ is Risen, and the oppressed are liberated! Death has been assassinated and Hades has been damned. The Light has dispelled the darkness. Love has conquered hate . This is the Good News. All are welcome  to feast at the banquet table of the Kingdom.           Recent years have given rise to "inclusive orthodoxy," and an increased awareness of the existence of progressive people of Faith; however, the intersection of diverse and seemingly contradictory ideologies and values as a point of human fascination and speculation is not a new phenomenon.  Often relegated to the obscurity of marginal spaces, typically beyond the radar of the general public, communities of Faith dedicated to causes frequently considered progressive have existed at great length, as well as in great number and with great depth.  The phrase  “oil and water” evokes not only the common metaphor of the apparent separation of t
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Pillow Talk: Before the Cock Crows

“And who do you say that I am?" Part I:         I let out a deep, contented yawn and stretched the length of the bed, pulling gently away from him as I kicked the covers away. My companion sighed pleasantly.            I felt as peaceful as a well-fed infant, poised for the quiet oblivion of slumber. Imagining that he too would be as dazed and tranquil as I was after the evening’s activities, I had not expected the subsequent topic of conversation to ignite with such intensity. By this time, we were no strangers to the trailing deceleration of the sort of artful “pillow talk” which had usually served as an elegant threshold into dreamland—not to mention, a giddying segue into the warm, tender embrace of cuddles.  This episode, however, quickly unfolded in glaring contrast to previous times. My brow and eyelid leapt in tandem like the wings of a startled bird of prey and I took a long breath in an effort to steady my pulse as suddenly and effortlessly as he had begun to dive pos
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A Journey of Faith

"Make me to know your ways, O  Lord ; teach me your paths.  Lead me in your truth, and teach me,  for you are the God of my salvation..." — Psalm 25:4-5          Next to the expectation of reaching desired destinations, perhaps the greatest hope of any honest spiritual endeavor is the progress authentically accomplished by the undertaking of the journey itself. Additionally, such sojourns of faith, often replete with unexpected twists and turns, have a knack for facilitating the evolution of one's expectations along the way.           Those who engage in discussions with me on the subject of such adventures of faith soon become aware of the fact that  I was formerly Eastern Orthodox and am now a practicing Episcopalian. As these experiences of faith have formed such a large part of my identity, I make no demur about the perspectives I hold as a former Antiochian Orthodox seminarian and Subdeacon, and a proud Anglo-Catholic. These ecclesiastical oases of spiritual nourishm
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The Way to Emmaus: A Spiritual Autobiography

    ... E ndeavoring to emulate the hypnotic cadence of a pious clergyman, my mouth began to utter those familiar verses aloud for the first time, each word the subject of my fastidious contemplation, my focus darting from the finely printed lines only to momentarily glimpse the bread and the cup meticulously situated on the table before me. As the gentle breeze flapped against the delicate pages crimped by the grip of my thumb, my skin seemed to affix itself to the imitation leather spine of the little Bible cradled tenderly in my palm. Though I had no words to articulate why, I understood this act to be of paramount importance. This seemingly modest meal meant togetherness; it was fellowship with one another, communion shared between heaven and earth. It always felt larger than life. As I lifted the bread in reverence to break it, the midday sun shone brightly on our makeshift altar, illuminating the inscription which featured the words: Little Tikes. My tiny congregation of one squ
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Why "Oil and Water"?

Orthodoxy in Progress: Finding Beauty in the Mystery of Paradox Expect the Unexpected          One of the many memorable aphorisms of my late grandfather which has remained with me most clearly and deepened in meaning for me exponentially is, "The more you know, the more you know you don’t know." As an adolescent, I would simply chuckle approvingly at its apparent cleverness, but an age of spiritual, psychological, and theological formation since then has given me a greater appreciation of this wisdom (which happens to be an idea attributed to Plato, apparently) and the beauty of paradox. What my grandfather accepted, and sought to impart, was a humble and reverent submission to the immensity of the mystery and magnitude of our existence, and the incomprehensible beyond. The presence of unknowability and mystery in life is so often conveyed to our imaginations in irony, speculation, or perhaps most acutely, paradox: that which strikes common sense as contradictory to reason w
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